Project Solitude

Hey all,

If you have been keeping up with my Facebook or Flickr, you'd know that I've recently just completed a photography project called Project Solitude. It's a rather short project, with one photo for five consecutive days.

The motivation for this project came from my experiences this semester. There was a period of time when I felt really tired, lethargic and unmotivated. I felt like I was just living a life made up of routines: going to classes, going to work, do homework, eat, shower, etc etc. I didn't feel like there was much adventure in life. No new experiences, not much outgoing stuff (mainly because I wanted to save money), and lately, limited engagement in sports. As a result, I felt secluded and lonely, with too much time to myself to think about things that did not seem to matter or would never happen. All of my previous commitments were partially compromised: I was hardly involved with the USyd photography society and Buddhist society. In other words, I wasn't healthy mentally and emotionally.

Although it felt bad at first, thinking that I wasn't doing anything useful by living in solitude, but slowly I started to appreciate it more. I realised that solitude comes to everybody once in a while, and most of the time, we need that quiet and lonely moment to understand ourselves better. This resulted in this new photography project, and also marks an initiation to leave the secluded world of mine and to work and keep myself busy and adventurous again.

Upon completion of the project, I'm actually really glad of what I've accomplished. Though it was short, I thoroughly enjoyed the process of planning out every day's photo (you can see the plans below). I'm particularly glad that I have a really reliable buddy of mine, June, to be my photographer for 4 of the 5 nights. Han, another reliable buddy of mine, filled in for her on the 4th night. I also had Kevin Joh, my buddy in the States, to help me with a couple of the poems that I've included with the photos. Overall, I felt that this wasn't merely a photography project, but also an excuse to hangout with my friends. Thoroughly appreciative of that. Thanks guys!

Anyways, since you guys can check out the final photos on Facebook or Flickr, I'll just post the shooting plans that I outlined and you can see how much the final photos adhere to them:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Disillusioned

Hey all,

Have you ever wanted something so bad that nothing other people say can change how you feel? That's what I feel right now. I feel like a kid,wanting something that I know I don't need. Wanting something that I know I will have to sacrifice a lot for. Damn you First World Problem!

If you've been to my Facebook wall recently, it's just full of updates on the newly released Nikon D600 DSLR camera. Hyped by many as a game-changer in the industry, the D600 offers a full-frame sensor cheaper than the D800, creating a whole brand new line of Nikon DSLRs. In other words, it is the cheapest full-frame camera still in production today! And why would I want a full-frame sensor? There are plenty of reasons but one of them is that most of the lenses that I invest in are meant to be mounted on a full-frame sensor to utilise its fullest capabilities. There are many more important reasons but due to them being technical, I'll pass for now.

And then comes the argument that lenses are more important than camera bodies. Well, here's an analogy. Camera bodies are like our physical bodies. A DX (cropped sensor) body is like a child's body, while an FX (full frame) body is like a grown man's body. Lenses, on the other hand, are like weapons (e.g. knives, bow and arrows, hammer etc). You may have the best weapon but without a strong enough physique, you are not utilising your weapon to its full capabilities. A heavy axe might be powerful, but it's less powerful when a weak teen uses it ineffectively. Similarly, a superb lens might give amazing photos, but without a full-frame body, chances are, you aren't using the lens at the focal length that it was designed for. In other words, while lenses are important, camera bodies matter a great deal too.

Months before the release, rumours had started surfacing and I was one of those poor people desperate for this highly anticipated 'cheap' full frame camera. Rumours had it going for $1500-$2000 USD, which is an incredible price for a full frame camera. It was highly anticipated that Nikon would release their new product on the 13th of September and on that day, I have never felt so excited watching the release of a product in my life. I felt like a little kid, so eager for the surprising yet not so surprising camera. I had class throughout most of the day and I couldn't help but going on the internet on my phone every once in a while to check for updates.

But anyways, it turned out to be $2100USD and due to Australia's high import tax, it costs around $2500AUD over here. That's way over my budget by almost $1000 and definitely requires a second thought. In fact, if I have to pay $2500 for a D600, I might as well save up for the $3000 grey imported full professional D800. But it isn't worth it, as the 36 megapixel sensor isn't something I'm looking for. Maybe I should get a grey import? Or perhaps get one once I'm back in Malaysia? The options are all there, but however I get my hands to a D600, it will be a big chunk of money out of my bank account.

I'm actually fine with that, as I've been saving up lots this semester, working but not spending. While some people may be lustful for food or clothes, I have already gotten past that stage. I can control those urges well enough that even if I'm hungry and there's a piece of McDonalds burger on the table that's not mine, I will ignore it. Photography equipment offer much more than excess clothes and food can ever provide me with (FIRST WORLD PROBLEM!). I am saving with photography in mind.

Except that I'm planning on backpacking around China this December-January... Yeup, that's certainly an experience that I know I have to experience. I'm earning Australia dollars, and with that currency advantage, travelling in China is cheap! I can't waste my 3 months break doing absolutely nothing productive. Also, once I get out of school and start full-time working, how am I ever going to take a big leave out of my calendar to travel? Impossible. So yes... backpacking around China is a must. And that, by my estimates, would cost at least A$1000 (6500-6800RMB) for one month.

I'm not going to disclose my exact savings, or how much I predict my savings will be by the end of November, but if I had to take out $1000 for the backpacking trip in China, I won't be able to get the D600, at least not this year. But (there are too many complains in this post...) argh, I was planning to get the D600 FOR the trip...

Disillusioned as I am, scolding me or telling me to understand reality certainly doesn't help. Maybe just an easy-going chat with a friend will help me soothe my desire and patience.