Happiness^2

Hey all,

Just a short post today. I just need to say one point.

When you're happy, you're happy, but that's not happy enough.
When you are fully aware that you are happy, you square the intensity of happiness by two-folds.
What does being fully aware mean?
It's the mindset where you know that your happiness won't last but because of that, you're all the more appreciative that you're feeling happy.

Hope that doesn't sound too confusing! I just thought that it was important to share some of my personal findings.

On a side note, happy autumn dear friends!


Autumn in Sydney (Please ignore the chromatic aberrations on the stems...)



My Weekly Timetable

Hey all,

Instead of posting random and boring ramblings of how my weeks have been, I've decided to change my posts a little and come up with more personal and interesting things to share. That includes insights on life, opinions on certain topics, profound questions I have, and also fervent feelings to express.

For this post, I'm just going to share my weekly timetable. Yup, that's right: if you're really obsessed with my life, you can almost always track where I am and what I'm doing at any particular time. Not that you would want to though because my life's really not that interest unless you are really that bored (or obsessed, of course).

Note that this timetable is quite general, with rooms for changes to certain time periods to accommodate special or sudden activities. Also, I guess it might not actually be a totally true/accurate depiction of my timetable as there will be times when I feel lazy, can't wake up etc etc. Instead, this timetable can be seen to be my ideal, in terms of productivity, timetable.

From looking at my timetable, hopefully you can see my life from a more complete perspective. Making this timetable will also hopefully allow me to evaluate my discipline.

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Day Time of Day	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Early Morning	6.00: Wake up 6.01 – 6.15: Finish washing face and brushing teeth 6.16 – 7.30: Revision of schoolwork in my room 7.31 – 8.00: Breakfast 8.01 – 8.45: Facebook and surfing the web in the computer lab; meditation; practice piano	6.00: Wake up 6.01 – 6.15: Finish washing face and brushing teeth 6.16 – 7.30: Revision of schoolwork in my room 7.31 – 8.00: Breakfast 8.01 – 8.45: Facebook and surfing the web in the computer lab; meditation; practice piano	6.00: Wake up 6.01 – 6.15: Finish washing face and brushing teeth 6.16 – 7.30: Revision of schoolwork in my room 7.31 – 8.00: Breakfast 8.01 – 9.00: Facebook and surfing the web in the computer lab; meditation; practice piano	6.00: Wake up 6.01 – 6.15: Finish washing face and brushing teeth 6.16 – 7.30: Revision of schoolwork in my room 7.31 – 8.00: Breakfast 8.01 – 9.00: Facebook and surfing the web in the computer lab; meditation; practice piano	6.00: Wake up 6.01 – 6.15: Finish washing face and brushing teeth 6.16 – 7.30: Revision of schoolwork in my room 7.31 – 8.00: Breakfast 8.01 – 8.45: Facebook and surfing the web in the computer lab; meditation; practice piano	Super-Flexible Time	Super-Flexible Time
Morning	8.46 – 10.00: Lecture 10.01 – 11.45: Piano; chill	8.46 – 12.00: Lectures	9.01 – 12.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab	9.01 – 12.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab	8.46 – 10.00: Economics Tutorial 10.01 – 10.45: Chill, practice piano, print photos 10.46 – 2.00: Sociology tutorial and Econometrics Workshop	Super-Flexible Time	Super-Flexible Time
Afternoon	11.46 – 1.00: Psychology Tutorial 1.01 – 1.30: Lunch 1.31 – 2.45: Nap; Relax	12.01 – 12.30: Brief review of morning lectures 12.31 – 1.00: Lunch 1.01 – 2.00: Meditation/Dharma talk 2.01 – 4.00: Lectures	12.31 – 1.00: Lunch 1.00 – 2.00: More lunch with USyd Photo Society 2.01 – 3.45: More schoolwork in the computer lab	12.30 – 1.00: Lunch 1.00 – 1.45: Chill; practice piano; 1.46 – 4.00: Lectures	10.46 – 2.00: Sociology tutorial and Econometrics Workshop 2.01 – 4.00: Badminton	Super-Flexible Time	Super-Flexible Time
Late Afternoon	2.46 – 6.00: Lectures	4.01 – 5.30: Dharma/Buddhist Application Discussion at UTS	4.46 – 5.00: Philosophy Tutorial	4.01 – 5.30: Chill, take a walk; visit library; street photography	4.01 – 5.30: Chill, nap	Super-Flexible Time	4.01 – 6.00: Tennis
Evening	6.01 – 7.00: Dinner 7.01 – 7.30: Shower	5.31 – 7.00: Back to IH, dinner, relaxation 7.01 – 7.30: Shower	5.01 – 6.00: Swimming + Shower 6.01 – 7.00: Dinner, chill	5.31 – 6.00: Dinner 6.01 – 7.00: Chill 7.01 – 7.30: Shower	5.31 – 6.00: Dinner	Super-Flexible Time	6.01 – 6.30: Dinner 6.31 – 7.00: Shower 7.01 – 8.00: Schoolwork in the computer lab
Night	7.31 – 9.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab 9.31 – 10.30: Chill, reading, surfing the web in my room 10.31: Go to bed	7.31 – 9.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab 9.31 – 10.30: Chill, reading, surfing the web in my room 10.31: Go to bed	7.01 – 8.00: Psychology Tutorial at IH? 8.01 – 9.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab 9.31 – 10.30: Chill, reading, surfing the web in my room 10.31: Go to bed	7.31 – 9.30: Schoolwork in the computer lab 9.31 – 10.30: Chill, reading, surfing the web in my room 10.31: Go to bed	Whole Night: Relax; freetime	Super-Flexible Time	8.01 – 9.00: IH’s TED Talk 9.01 – 10.00: Schoolwork in the computer lab 10.01 – 10.30: Chill, reading, surfing the web in my room 10.31: Go to bed

Actually, after making my timetable, I realise that everyday's potentially super-flexible. I mean, you could skip lectures and no one would care. Or to put it in a better way, you could always choose to attend alternative lectures (or listen to online recordings of lectures) if anything comes that prevents you from going to lectures. I guess that's what I mean when I mentioned in one of my previous posts that in uni, weekdays feel like the weekend, and the weekend feels like the weekdays.

But yeah, as you can obviously see, I spend a lot of my time in the IH computer lab doing work (I don't actually do that much, I just work really inefficiently...). Even when I am 'chilling', I'm mostly in the IH computer lab going on Facebook, emails, photography websites and that sort of things. I also spend quite a considerable amount of time in the piano room. I realise that I don't exercise as frequently anymore. I used to want to have a morning run every other morning, but I lack motivation and just decided to quit it all together. I should totally pick it up again...

This timetable is subject to change (I think) when (if) I get a job or when I move out of IH during the winter holidays.

Cheers.

Swimming and Life

Hey all,

I tend to like sports. But mostly team sports like soccer and volleyball, or sports which require interaction with other players, be they teammates or opponents, like tennis and badminton. Swimming is different. Swimming, like running, requires a lot of personal motivation. It's not a game. It's not fun.

I have never been good at swimming. I can swim, but I can't swim fast, or for long periods of time. Sometimes I see people swimming at the speed they do and I wonder how they are able to sustain their breathing so well. It would be normal to attribute it to the fact that I simply have a pair of weak lungs. But a part of refuses to accept that. I don't want to accept that I was born to be inferior.

Swimming is such a psychologically challenging activity. Most of the time, I'm fighting against myself. One part of me just want to get out of the pool, dry myself, have a hot shower and just go on with my life. But another part of me forces me to continue swimming until I reach my target of 10 laps (or however many laps that I intended to swim for that day). The first part of me insists that I think about the freezing water and the vision of drowning and suffocating. At this point, the other part of me quickly change my thoughts to the proud achievement of reaching my goal. This constant struggle between wanting to leave and having to swim really saps my psychological strength sometimes.

 

The unpleasant vision of drowning

Occasionally, my inner conflicts become subdued, and that gives me a lot of time to think while being underwater. Staring at the boring far-reaching pool floor, I almost always relate swimming with life. Like swimming, life isn't easy. Sometimes, you feel like giving up. You just want to get out of the freezing pool, dry yourself, and have a hot shower. But you can't, because everybody will look badly at you. And also, in life, warmth and hot showers don't exist outside the pool. The only way to get yourself warm is to suffer, work hard, and hope for the best. You just got to keep swimming till you get warm.

Underwater, time seems to slow down by fractions. It feels as if you don't know where you're heading, nor can you ever know where you're heading; all you can do is just to keep going. Same goes for life. You just have to live life as it is everyday without knowing where exactly you're heading. You have a direction, but not a specific goal.

And like swimming, life feels like a slow process when you're swimming. A stroke of your arm after another. A kick of the leg after another. While you're doing this repetitive task, you ask yourself: when will this end? And while you're swimming, you just can't wait till you touch the other end of the pool. But once you've reached the end of it, only do you realise how much you have swam and how fast time has passed in life.

The Realisation That I'm a Bit Low on Money

Hey all,

I feel like I have been submerged under water for the past 2 weeks and only now am I given the chance to take a gulp of fresh air before having to go under again in a few days. Yes, school's busy.

Had two midterms in the last two weeks. Got 25/30 for my ECMT exam, which was surprisingly lower than my prediction. I'm not so confident for my ECON exam, which I barely had enough time to complete. More recently, I have been working rigiously day and night [I practically 'lived' in the computer lab] on my psychology essay and yay, I'm finally done! But the semester never stops and I currently have a sociology essay due next week and an econ essay due a few weeks later. Don't think either one would be harder than the psych one though. Oh by the way, I love university libraries because they have so many resources! Right now I think I'm borrowing something like 12 books and it's totally fine! Most of these books smell good too haha!

With the prospect of staying in Sydney for winter break, I have been thinking about the future. Last Saturday, Jamie, Tim and I went job hunting: walking around the city just offering resumes to people who are more likely than not not going to reply anyways. Made me realise how tough it is to find a job, even a simple low paying job such as waitering. Just have to wonder how life's going to be like after I graduate =S. I also found a place with a friend (Dave) to stay during the winter break, costing only $100 per week! Sweet deal eh?

Bought an old but fast tele-zoom model from Ebay recently. Cost me a grand! It was such a tough decision to make, what with all the negative arguments from family and friends. But in the end, I'm still happy I got it. Simply said, it is an investment and because it's such an old and rare lens anyways, it probably won't depreciate in value by much over the next decade or so. But because I got the lens, my parents are not paying for my winter expenses -- hence the desperation for a job. Everytime I go online and check my bank account balance, I'm met with the realisation that I've only got so much to spend for so long a time period (3-4 months!)! But it's only going to make things more interesting =) Was going to find a job related to photography but the industry's so competitive I haven't got any replies from my applications so far. The closest one I got offered to pay $250 for 13 corporate headshots and a group photo! How sweet a deal was that? But in the end I didn't get it. A shame, but life moves too fast to linger on it. Was the official photographer with Tim for the IH Harbour Cruise event last week. Thought I caught some pretty nice stills [see below]. Was also interviewed on photography for the coming IH newsletter.

Realisation that I have NO MONEY!

And then realising that all your money went to this piece of black metal... You question yourself WHY WHY WHY but only one reason can justify it: because it's worth it, and it is!

In university, everyday feels like a weekend. I mean, right now it's like 12.17am and the last few hours haven't been the most productive from me -- it was getting ice cream from Broadway, playing piano, talking to a friend... In other words, no work done! No one cares about you. You could skip lectures, tutorials and it's not like anybody cares. Which is why university requires so much motivation to study. Personally I don't have problems with that. I'm motivated by so many people everyday and I keep trying to improve my study efficiency daily. That includes waking up at 6.30am in the morning to work! (Don't think if I can wake up that early tomorrow since it's already 12.19am!

Most of the friends that I've made so far are from IH. No, I take that back. All of the friends I've made so far are from IH. There will come a time when I'll need friends outside of IH, but right now I'm not making any particular effort to find friends. Well, recently, I've been trying to but sometimes I simply don't see a point of doing so. I've got good friends at IH. That's all that matters since I spend my time in IH like 90% of the week?

Oh at the moment, I'm starting a personal project [nothing big] for myself and for all my friends across the globe: I'm going to record down a video diary of my everyday this week. I've already recorded 2 days (3, including today) but haven't had time to edit and compile them yet because my computer's broken and nobody has been nice to enough to lend me their computers... =( These videos are actually really badly filmed because the audio's horrible (internal mics), the focus is usually off (I'm manual focusing all the time), and it's always bumpy (since I'm always walking around). These videos are also meant to be true depictions of my life and the world around me, and is in no way intended to be funny or entertaining. It's just a diary. Once I'm done editing, I'll post them one by one up on Youtube of Facebook and share it around. So... stay tuned for some awesome (NOT) videos of my life!

I haven't got any photos of my own to post up right now... So just a boring blogpost update filled with lines and lines of text... Well, if it makes anything better, here's an emoticon --> =D