Santi Forest Monastery

Hey all,

As you would have known if you had read my previous post, I went to Santi Forest Monastery, a Theravadian Buddhist monastery located in Bundanoon -- roughly 3 hours of train-ride south west of Sydney -- for a short 10-day retreat.

I went with an open and excited mind. I looked forward to what Santi had to offer. To me, it felt like a new adventure (albeit a little quiet and flat since it's a meditation adventure...). Having forced myself to wake up at 5.30am, I made my way with my one luggage bag, one sleeping bag and one backpack to Central station for my 6.45am train. Initially, I planned on walking all the way from Forest Lodge (where I'm staying at the moment), but after a draining start, I knew I couldn't make it in time. After 3 hours of mild pain (my bleeding heel), change of trains, and buses, I arrived at Bundanoon Station.



My bleeding heel



The beautiful rural country!




My companions

 Santi was a 3km walk from the station. With no one to pick me up, I had to walk the entire way for 45 minutes with my heavy luggage. I had no idea how I managed to do it, but I did. I got to Santi right before lunch -- which was the only big meal of the day at 11am. Upon arrival, I made some new friends who were extremely kind and friendly to me as they showed me the customs at Santi, which includes receiving blessings from the monastics and in return offering food and drinks to them.
After lunch, caretaker Chandra showed me to my bedroom, which turned out to be a caravan in the middle of the forest. When I first walked there, I didn't even know if I could find it by myself if I were to walk there by myself. In the sunny afternoon, my caravan looked fine and I didn't expect any troubles from it.



My caravan!

 Following that, I had 3 hours of free time before the evening scripture (Sutta) class. Though many people went for their own meditation, I decided to stay in the library to explore their vast collection of books on Buddhist and some other topics including Pali and other religions.

At 4pm, we had our Sutta class. It was basically a class given by the abbot Bhante Sujato on the Buddhist suttas (scriptures/recordings of what the Buddha taught). These were pretty interesting as Bhante, who is very much a scholar in Ancient Buddhism, discussed the parallels and differences between the different language versions of the chapters (due to Buddhism's spread over many countries, there are many versions of different languages -- Chinese, Pali and Tibetan mainly).

Next up came teabreak, which was a small substitute of dinner, but we could only take limited food such as chocolate, dried ginger, marshmallows and drinks. Having used to eating dinner daily, I was still hungry after the teabreak, but could not help myself to something more filling without breaking the rules.

After having a short shower, I retired to my caravan at 8.00pm and went to bed. Gosh, it was then that I realised that Bundanoon was freezing at night! What's more, because Santi's in the middle of a forest, I was surrounded in complete darkness. I tried waving my hand 15cm away from my face but I was only confronted by darkness. With a torch that Simon (a fellow guest at Santi) gave me, I managed to navigate to my caravan miraculously and went to bed. Wrapping myself in two layers of thick blanket, I still couldn't get warm. It was almost torture. I woke up several times in the night due to the uncomfortable cold, each time wishing that it'd be morning. When morning finally came, I thought to myself: I won't be able to suffer through this for 10 days...!

The next morning, I told the accommodation nun that I couldn't stand the cold the previous night. She told me to grab a hot water rubber bag. And I followed her instructions that night and found that it was a lot easier to go to sleep, but like the previous night, I woke up many times in the middle of the night because my hot water rubber bag has turned cold.

The next night, I decided to move and temporarily brought my sleeping bag to sleep in the sala (meditation room). As it was inside the building, it was warmer. However, there still wasn't heating, and so again, I woke up many times in the middle of the night. That was 3 days of almost sleepless night I had. I didn't know what to do. I needed some warmth.



My freezing bed

 So on the fourth day, I went on a last-minute-planned trip to Wollongong in the morning. I left Santi for the bus at Bundanoon station at 6.05am. The details of this trip will be narrated in another post, but do know that I find Wollongong a GREAT city -- one which I would actually not mind settling in, in the future. At Wollongong, I got my much needed warmth, and I went back to Bundanoon that night with a promising mentality.

The next week at Santi flew by much smoother than the first 3 days as I finally found the best place to sleep in -- which was in the library by the fireplace. In fact, sleeping turned from the most dreaded activity to my most favourite/comfortable activity at Bundanoon. It was so warm and nice sleeping next to the fire that I didn't ever want to move back to my caravan again. The only thing that I had to make sure was to sleep after everyone has left the library at night and wake up before anyone enters in the morning.

My time at Santi followed pretty much the same schedule everyday. Wake up at around 5.30 - 6am in the morning, breakfast from 6.30 - 7.30am, work hours from 7.30 - 11am, lunch and cleanup from 11 - 1pm, individual meditation/reading time from 1 - 4pm, occasionally sutta classes from 4 - 6pm, tea break from 6 - 7pm, and free time pretty much after.

Though the accommodation and food at Santi were free, we had to work to maintain the place and prepare lunch for the monastics. Over the days I were there, I was involved in a range of work including cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the library and kitchen, clearing weed grass, moving fallen trees, moving rocks/sand.


Even the monks had to work!




Cooking!

 I learned so so much during my short slightly-more-than-a-week's stay at Santi. I learned to become a better cook as well as to become a mentally stronger worker/student. I also learned lots about the Buddha's teachings during my time there as I spent quite a bit of my time reading books including the Dhammapada. Admittedly, I also learned to appreciate vegetarian food and almost considered becoming a vegetarian. Additionally, I experienced the lifestyle that I would never experience back in the city -- Bundanoon was so rural, on one occasion I actually saw a large kangaroo just hopping on the street! I also made a lot of friends, from different backgrounds. Due to all of these reasons, my short stay felt like 2-months as I now think back in retrospect.



Marcus, Simon, and I




Martin and I



Marian and Beatrice



The Start of the Winter Break

Hey all,

Roughly 4 months ago, when I left Malaysia, I thought I would pay the trip to go back to Malaysia for the winter due to the high living expenses here -- 4 weeks of rent > plane ticket -- but I guess things didn't turn out the way I imagined it would.

The last week has definitely been eventful and packed. My brother came over from Melbourne the day I finished my exams and together we've walked pretty much all that Sydney CBD has had to offer.

View from Sydney Fish Market

Shun Wei posing while the sun sets

After my brother went back, I just hung out with David and some other friends. Yesterday, Lisa invited Par, David and I for a "short" hike at the Sydney Royal National Park. We didn't know what to expect and didn't prepare much for the trip -- no compass, not much food, nothing. This resulted in one and a half hours of panic as we got lost among the woods. We lost our trail many times and I even got one whole foot soaked with water as we tried crossing a rock-bridge in our attempt to find our bearings. Fortunately, we did manage to get out of the woods right before the sun set. Gotta be extremely grateful for that!

Par safely crosses the rock-bridge that I got my foot soaked in...

The crew (excluding me of course!)

David meditating...or is he?

I'm currently staying at David's sister's place, temporarily taking up her other housemates rooms while they are away on holiday in Europe. Rent's cheap, and it's actually quite a comfortable and clean place. The only problem is the insulation. As we don't have a heater, the place feels like an ice box. The only protection we have against that is simply to wear more or to go for a hot shower. Here are some photos of the place:

 I have a balcony!

The bed

The SSIS Graduting Class of 2011 Blanket has served me real well this winter break!

The view from the balcony

The balcony

The street by the house

The house

Living with an extremely thin budget of $500 for the month, I have to spend my money wisely. While this was thought to mean more cooking at home, so far I've been out for most of my meals and spending loads more than I should. Definitely need to get the initiative to cook more often...!

As the winter break last for a month, I'm on the lookout for jobs. I've applied to several places already with not much success. Recently, I've been trying to land jobs in McDonalds (which hopefully pays minimum wage -- which is decent at around $17 p/h) and some other casual places. Fingers crossed, I do get a job to support my living expenses.

On a last note, I'll be off to Santi Forest Monastery at Bundanoon tomorrow morning for a 10-day meditation retreat. That'll mean money off food and accommodation, as well as the acquisition of wisdom, calmness and peacefulness. May all be well.

University and High School

Hey all,

In this post, I will examine the big step between university and high school generally in terms of academic & social life, and personal growth. This is not a comparison as to which is better, but rather the differences between the two and why many people see it as a big step in life. I have been wanting to write this post for a while now, but haven't been able to get the time nor the initiative to do so.


Academics
University is definitely tougher than high school, and yes, that includes IB. IB felt tough, but not as tough as university. University is tougher simply based on the pace that everything is taught. For example, I have friends who took IB Psychology HL (2 years) and felt that they needed to learn a lot more in order to catch up with our first semester Introductory Psychology course (4 months).  There is so much material to cover in uni every week and it's incredibly hard to catch up once you fall behind. 


Some people feel that because they have taken a particular class in IB, that will mean that uni would be easier. Not necessarily. There may be some repeat, but there's always new material to learn. I know friends who did IB economics HL and are finding it hard to even get a distinction (75%) in an introductory microeconomics course. Perhaps economics' the only exception, as economics in university = pure math, which leads me to my next point. 


Only in university do I realise that maths is indeed everything. You can never escape it, unless you do the arts or humanities, such as English, music and what not. IB economics was pure conceptual, whereas in university it's all maths. Not only do you need maths in sciences such as biology, physics and chemistry, you also need to know lots in the social sciences, especially economics. Maths, and especially statistical maths, is a must-know in research. So yeah, those who took IB Maths studies would feel sorry because they are already behind. I got out of high school thinking that I wouldn't ever need to do a voluntary maths class ever again, but one year later, I'm reconsidering. The key to academic success definitely a certain level of competency in maths.


Also in university, depending on the approach you have towards learning, you get a lot of freedom. There are so many subjects on offer, and who's to say you can't just pop into random lectures and learn a few bits here and there? University, also called the centre for learning, offers plenty of opportunities to learn things other than the field that you're studying in. For example, I'm doing economics and psychology, but who's to say that I can't visit the libraries, borrow academic books on law, pharmacy, or physics and start self-learning? It's probably the only time in your life where you can feel so absorbed into study and learning. Additionally, instead of having the mentality to learn materials just enough to pass your exam, why not learn more? Take the initiative to research on a unexplored theory in class and take more away from it -- because sooner or later in your second and third years, you probably have to learn it anyways. The more you know, the better off you are. Cultivate the learner's habit the second you come to university.

Social
I'm currently living in an on-campus dormitory/college (as Australia calls them) so my social life would definitely be different to those who live out there by themselves or shares a flat with room mates. Also, because everyone's social preferences are different, I'm going to generalise here.

There's a lot of freedom as to what you can do. I guess that's expected. Nobody's going to stop you in doing a lot of things. You yourself have to take control of your life, and that requires careful planning. But as long as you have a strong discipline, you should be fine.


The transition from high school to university shifts your role as the old teenagers to the ignorant adults; from the seniors to the freshers. Coming to first year of university, there are a lot of things that will be new. Especially when, like me, your transition is from a small high school to a big public university. Over time, you will meet so many people, most of them older and wiser than you. Get to know them, and learn from their experiences. You get a lot of great insights into the real adult world this way. 


Also, because university's so big and diverse, it's almost impossible to find someone who share your timetable. As a result, you'll find it harder to make new close friends. People mind their own business and you mind yours. Talking to a person in one lecture often meant that you'll never see that person ever again. More often that not, your friends would be those people who share the same interests as you (such as photography) or who are from the same country as you (forming a little diaspora!). Being open-minded and schedule-free definitely helps in getting friends. 


In university, like in the working world, networking is of utmost importance. Networking means to get out there and place yourself among the crowd and share contacts. University's huge, with so many opportunities to potentially boost your resume as well as contribute to your personal growth. The key to success is networking. You'd most likely be working sometime during your university career, and networking can get you plenty of opportunities to the hidden market (which probably takes up something like 60% of the job market!). Networking's like an accumulation of contacts who can potentially offer you opportunities to grow in your field. You'll have to do it sooner or later when you work, so why not start in university?

Personal Growth
To sum up, university's the best time to start developing as an individual. The environment provides it all. People, skills, resources, opportunities. This is definitely the step to mature and make a contribution to the world. You no longer have that family shell that constrain you; you are out there in the real adult world, with plenty of options as to what to do with your life. All your actions lead to consequences, good and bad. Learn to be responsible and mindful, and that'll bring more good than bad consequences. True, you may not have financial independence yet, but you have the opportunity to accumulate and mold your environment to achieve a smooth transition into financial independence.

Not only should you grow socially, academically, and financially, you will also have plenty of opportunities to grow spiritually -- immerse yourself or strengthen your bonds with religion and values -- and recreationally -- work on a hobby, do volunteer work, teach etc.

Be sure to grab all that university has to offer. Good luck!

Frustration, Exams, and More Frustration

Hey all,

Perhaps it's just another part of an adolescent's transition period, but many times when I am revising so hard for the exams, I find myself suddenly stopping, and thinking to myself, who am I kidding, why am I working this hard for a grade that would probably not matter at all. And so what if I get good grades? Graduate out of school with honours and proceed to the job market to live yet another normal life that even people with only decent grades would have? Really? Is that the best I can come out with? I'm so disillusioned! I'm working for nothing! And that's the point I tend to stop revising, relieve a great sigh, and take a short break.

I don't think I'm being pessimistic but optimism can only get you so far. Being too optimistic really misses the point. Reality isn't as wondrous as an optimist sees it. Far from it.

ARgh! I guess I'm just a little frustrated with the talent that I don't find in me. My anger lies in my unacceptance of my mentality towards exams and my lack of ability to do well. Since young, I've always been taught to revise till the death for exams. It's not something I would willingly do, but the mentality has engraved itself so deep within me that I can't help but comply.

Perhaps I need to rethink my life. I shouldn't be doing this for the grades. I should be doing this because I enjoy the process of working hard, learning, and knowing that I enjoyed it.

Or, as past experience proves it, I just need a warm sleep tonight and I'll be mentally healthy as ever again tomorrow morning. And hopefully by then I can think positively and enjoy everything I do again, regardless of whether or not I actually like doing it.

I guess I really do need a break. I truly long for the day my exams end and the winter break starts.

That aside, winter in Sydney is great. Some photos around the Darlington side of the campus:

Exams Loom!

Hey all,

Within a blink of an eye, two weeks have passed without a new post. Man, Time, thou art speedy!

Why does Time feel like it passed so quickly? Don't people always say that when you're enjoying something, Time seems to move faster? Is that why I feel like Time passed so quickly? Or perhaps it's simply because I'm never aware of what I'm doing and hence Time passes by while I'm in robot mode -- so concentrated on doing things just for the sake of doing it? Either way, Time has passed and nothing I do can recover it.

Now that I think about it, the past two weeks definitely haven't been boring. Like the weather in Sydney lately, it has been quite unstable. I won't talk specifically about my feelings/mood (not here, at least), but here are a brief list of things that happened. There was the Buddhist Council NSW meeting, the UN Vesak Day, the photography work coverage of Soo Jae's amazing Charity Auction Night, the weekly strobist works, the Economics term paper, the USyd PhotoSoc Executive AGM, weekly IH badminton, getting back my Sociology and Psychology essays -- which I did rather poorly on ='( -- last lecture of the Semester -- which was just a few hours ago -- and most recently, the Econometrics assignment that I've been working on tirelessly for the past 3 days.

Next week's STUVAC -- Study Vacation -- and after that comes the final exams. Like I was back in high school, I'm still not intimidated by the idea of final exams. Though if the past is anything to judge, I'm pretty sure I'd be freaking out the day prior to the actual exam when I realise that I don't know my stuff well enough. After my last day of exam, my brother's coming to Sydney from Melbourne for 3 days and it'd be cool if I could convince him that Sydney > Melbourne. After exams comes winter break, and I'd be moving out to a place in Glebe with David for only $100 per week! But shortly after moving, I'll be off to a Monastery in Bundanoon for a short retreat of 1-2 weeks. A lot of people ask me why I'm doing this, and honestly, part of it is because it's totally free (free accommodation, food, utilities etc.), but more importantly, I see it as an opportunity to tune down my life, learn more about the teachings of Buddha, and experience something new. Well, that's pretty much all that I've planned out so far. Although initially I wished for a winter break where I can work, I realise that it'd be better for me to have more free time to engage in things of interest to me, make more friends from different backgrounds, widen my social connections, and get to know Sydney and its suburbs better. After all, my life in Sydney during the Semester has pretty much been restrained to just IH, Uni, Chinatown... and what else?

To end off, I'm going to give you guys a sneak preview to my recent strobist works (see below). Check out my Facebook page to see more (do click 'Like!') and feel free to contact me should you be interested in a photoshoot session. I'll see what I can do.

The photos below are not copyrighted (I'm being honest!) but I'd prefer it if you can ask me for permission should you like to share it, or use it in any way. And to add to the photos, I've been inspired by one of my psychology lecturers to combine poems and visual art, so there goes!

Cheers!

How confusing can you be dear Life,

When everything feels jive,

Hence at the world I sigh,

What does it mean to be alive?

Join our professional team,

Have colleagues this (see picture) solid,

Fun it always seem,

For we always earn profits.